David Soto Writes

I think I figured out what I want to be when I grow up.

Her Morning Routine – Post 1

She woke up before her husband, as she did every morning, and headed straight to the laundry room. She picked up his soiled clothes, threw them in the washing machine, filled the soap dispenser, pushed start, and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. By the time he woke up, her husband would never know that she did a load of laundry. That was the point. It was for his own protection.

 


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4 Comments

  1. That first sentence- too many dids. And change through to threw. Now I want to know what happens next.

  2. Free form input:

    Soiled is stronger than dirty. If he’s going to be someone who’s been hunting or working on an oil platform, soiled it is. If he works at Office Depot, soiled would be too much. If he’s a bad guy, then soiled could work–your choice indicating, subconsciously, that he’s going to be a bad guy.

    If the last sentence could reveal what kind of story it is it, or who she is, it would be more powerful. She’s hiding the fact she’s doing laundry, or his laundry. So, she’s a sneaky person? Or, she’s insecure and wants him to think his laundry is done by magic? If it’s the former, something like, “This was her morning routine. Secrets were her daily routine.”

    You can also cut down the steps to doing laundry (I CERTAINLY KNOW THEM ALL) unless they’re important to the story later on: She picked up his soiled clothes, started them in the washing machine, and headed to the kitchen to make coffee.

    • writerdave

      August 11, 2016 at 11:20 am

      Wow awesome feedback. It has let me know of some tweaks I could make but also that I am on the right track. Thanks so much, Katy.

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